I wrote this song because I needed somewhere to put the scream I never let out. That night in the cab to the airport, I made myself a promise: if he looked back, I’d tell him everything. How I felt, how much I wanted him, how angry I was that he let me believe what I believed. All of it. I’m Latina. We’re loud, we yell, we feel out loud. Holding that in almost broke something in me. He didn’t look back, and I never got the chance to say any of it. So a few weeks later, sitting in the courtyard of our apartment in Paris getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, I gave it a voice instead. I don’t know if I’ll ever know the full truth of how he felt that night. But I hope if you’ve ever had a goodbye that didn’t get to finish (a question you never asked, a look you never got) this song makes you feel a little less alone in it.
“The music video came together almost by accident. I was in Hakone, Japan in May when a typhoon rolled through and we got stuck inside, unable to leave the house. So my sister Mia and I looked at each other and just decided to film it right there, typhoon and all.”
“I’ve sung the songs on this album more times than I can count now (writing them, recording them, performing them live) and it’s honestly been so cathartic. Every time I sing them, they hold a little less power over me, and I get a little more power back from them instead. But this one still gets me every time. It still brings me right back to being that small girl in Bucharest, craning my neck to watch him for as long as I could, only to never see him turn around.”
